Articles
September 11, 2025
Charlie Kirk was Thirty-One
It is rare that something so pierces and stirs my heart that I must immediately take to pen and paper. As an American living in Germany for my husband's tour, I woke up this morning to a text from my mother, that among other things, said:”… this poor boy was assassinated…”. No name was mentioned. Seeing as she could not answer me, as it was about 1:30 in the morning back on the east coast, I simply googled the word “assassination”. When I saw Charlie Kirks name and photo, and a date of death, something in me broke.
I never knew the man. I never met him. I had seen clip after clip of him pop up on my social media accounts over and over again over the course of so many years. What always struck me about him was his honesty, in otherwards his candor, and utter composure.
But today I learned something new about him.
He was thirty-one.
What’s more, he had begun debating on college campuses twelve years ago.
This hit me in a way that I had no way of anticipating.
I am thirty-one.
Charlie Kirk and I lived at the same age, in the same years, during the same chaos. But he forged ahead.
At nineteen I had hit a crossroads, and failed.
Twelve years ago, when my pride caused me to declare that I was purely a deist at nineteen, when I had given up any true faith for the sake of “seeking one out”, Charlie Kirk was boldly proclaiming his own.
Not soon after that, when I was told to stop sharing the truth about the horrors of abortion by “wise" mentors, Charlie Kirk was fighting for the rights of the unborn.
When I was terrified to speak out about the insanity of the BLM “protests” (riots) out of fear of losing friends and avoiding drama for my children’s sake (and for mine), Charlie Kirk was going onto campuses and directly confronting it all.
All the while I thought, my path is this path, and I cannot compromise it all for the sake of my pride and quick temper.
I thought I was being temperate. I thought I was being wise. But I have seen more recently, and today especially, that all that I was, was a coward.
I am sharing this because, if many at my age, we as a collective, are honest with ourselves, how many of us did (or are still doing) just this? We went along to get along. We were desperate to not become involved because we were afraid of what we would lose for the sake of, well, telling the truth.
I am sharing this because, more importantly than this, we have the full capacity to change course.
As a catholic going through, let’s say, a reconversion, but really a primary catechesis, as I never truly understood what my faith was about, my faith is now in its infancy. I do not know much, but I am willing to share what I do know.
What I know, for today, is this. I know that Charlie Kirk exemplified something that we should, each and every one of us, strive to live by daily: to speak truly in bravery and humility, to be brave when we see lies and madness when we know it to be so, and to ask questions and listen in humility when we do not have the answers.
Above all of this, his example should lead us to have faith in the truth, faith in Christ, even when adversity is figuratively, and literally, completely surrounding us.
I am proud to live (very soon, again) in a country where Charlie Kirk’s are formed, however short his life was. His entire life was an example for us to follow. I grieve for his family, all of whom lost a father, and a husband. Erika will undoubtedly be telling her children for the rest of their lives, along with a majority of our country, what their father lived, and died, for. They will be reminded of how courageous and God fearing he was, and how many he inspired, me included.
As I read the news this morning, of yesterday's atrocity, something in my heart reminded me of the daily Gospel that I had heard yesterday via Hallow's "Daily mass Readings". The Daily Gospel reading yesterday, the day of Charlie Kirks assassination, was from the gospel of Luke:
“Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you, and revile you, and defame you on account of the son of man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, for surely your reward is great in heaven, for that is what their ancestors did to the prophets…”
I hope you will join me in praying for Erika Kirk and her children, and that Charlie Kirk is now resting with the Father that he lived his earthly life for.
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August 2025
THE ANTI-FAIRYTALE
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, Disney made great fairytale films. Children emulated their princes and princesses through pretend play. They would dress up and twirl around their home, or pick up sticks outside to slay their dragons. They were inspired by the highest ideals. Goodness was shown, promoted, and given as a gift to the children that those stories and films were intended for. The conversation surrounding children’s films arose recently with a friend. We discussed a film released earlier this year “Spellbound” and how it was such a tragedy. The voices were gorgeous, the music was lovable. The daughter taking on the emotional weight of the parents immaturity was despairingly realistic. However, the portrayal of divorce as simply a “part of life” was quite frankly, sad. The film had an opportunity to provide an example, an ideal, to show a reconciliation, to show that the parents would not allow their child to turn into a monster because of them. Rather, that they would work as a team, lay down their pride, and allow their child the wholeness that she deserved. Yet the film makers turned away from this possibility. It stuck to a horribly boring and hatefully “realistic” story. It omitted a potentially beautiful and weep-worthy ending, all for the sake of satiating our morally devoid moment in time, that so many producers have in recent years. I could not decide whether to laugh at its predictable, wearisome narrative, or descend into an utter rage. The question that remained written on my heart after this discussion was simply, how did we get here? How did we enter an age where children’s films attempt to meet what is material, rather than it setting a moral example of transcendent excellence? Why are we manipulating, what I call “Anti-Fairytales”, to fit an amoral and radical narrative, rather than setting a standard of beauty to strive for? I could come up with only one answer: our film makers have forgotten about their intended audience in an effort to provide politically charged adults with their so longed for excuses for their own sad stories. Today’s movie making “grownups” fail in their duty to guide, to shepherd, to protect and defend, and to provide the innocent ones that they are supposedly creating for with beauty, hope, and goodness. So when did this begin? When and where did this depressing materialism seep into so many of our children’s films? 2013-2014, Disney. Not only has Disney driven their Cars away from goodness and higher ideals, but they have sprinted away from that which makes stories sparkle; that which is, ironically, a large part of their original slogan; imagination. I understand that the films I am about to mention have been ripped to shreds on so many platforms, that in discussing them I run the risk of sounding monotonous. I will take the risk regardless, as it is necessary in showing when Disney fell away from their own ideals. Or, when they began to set a poor example for all other animation Studio’s. The years of 2013 and 2014 were absolutely pivotal to children’s movies and narratives, as we introduced a new ark to the Disney fairytale story: the Prince as a villain in Frozen, and the villain as protagonist in Maleficent. These films absolutely demolished, destroyed, and brought utter ruin to, the classic telling of fairytales. Frozen ripped the ideal of a Prince completely out from under the feet of innocent little girls in the moment where Hans said to Anna: “oh Anna, if only there was someone who loved you”. This moment was solely for the adults that were creating the film who had their own hearts broken. It was for the hearts that had allowed their disappointment to shroud even their imaginations. The creators seemed to forget those that they were creating for. What’s more, in that same moment of the film, it left the boys who were forced to endure the film for sisters and cousins alike, in a state of confusion. The true “hero” was the silly man throughout the film who often forgot to bathe. I would like someone to explain to me how either of these two options, the lovable oaf or the princely villain, are ideals to strive for. Now, as crooked as Frozen was for its audience, young boys and girls alike, how could I possibly consider Maleficent to be much, much more detrimental? Maleficent turned an existing storyline on its head. I am a fan of a beautiful redemption ark. In fact, I relish the idea of a villain seeing the error of their ways, and in portraying forgiveness as an ideal. The Live Action Cinderella, as an example, allowed for a glimmer of the villains backstory, a profound forgiveness, and gave the viewer a deeper understanding of the story as a whole. It still allowed the story its integrity. Maleficent does not merely give the back story to an evil villain, but it alters the entire story, making it a “what really happened” narrative. While it is not harmful to understand that each person has their own individual story, it is harmful to allow a villain excuses. Yes it is true that all have made mistakes, but a film, a story, that children are digesting which both encourages and makes fantastical a villain, is a dangerous business. It puts forth the notion that if one endures hardships, they are given permission to seek retribution and revenge. This type of film does not merely give this behavior permission, but it glamorizes it, makes it “cool”. To take this further, it eradicates the idea that there is such a thing as “bad”. It promotes moral relativism, and in that, it crushes the actual purpose of a fairytale. The “imagineers” at Disney, unwittingly, threw away their “shield of virtue” and “sword of truth”. Instead, they decided to reside in the most boring, abhorrent version of our world, the worst of the “realistic”. Disney, since this depressing year, has come out with other films that were not classic fairytales that have been entertaining. Yes, I will give them that. Yet their typical fairytale films have flopped. There is no other word that I can conjure up that is more appropriate. The word “flop” has a beautifully hilarious connotation to it, and while the destruction of children’s stories is no laughing matter, watching the companies utter failure when putting forth such moral atrocities, has been. So many have already expounded on the disaster that was the Live Action Snow White that I see no need to waste my words, or your time, on it. So why do I care? Why does this matter? Why did I feel the need to go on this small tirade on a public platform? The answer to that is simple one. I love stories. I do not simply mean that stories are some brief fleeting thing that I occasionally happen to pick up and put down again. I mean I love them. They are incredibly important, more so than we often realize. Children’s films, children’s fairytales, are supposed to open a world of hope and love. Of purity and goodness in the midst of difficulty. So that, God willing, when suffering meets us in life, as it inevitably will, we have stories that have enriched, enlivened, and are planted deeply within our hearts and souls: and fill us to overflowing with examples of how to suffer well. We have all inevitably failed miserably when suffering at one moment or another. Yet, to have a story to witness perfection, to have an example of what to strive for as a directive, gives us hope, to we who have suffered or struggled. It gives us a path forward. In many ways, fairytales are the most, and best version of what is truly real, that we have access to on this Earth. If we allow fairytales to fall short of the beauty that they are intended to be, we will lose the hope and faith of an entire generation.
May 2025
Worthy
“What am I worth?” This is a question we’ve likely all posed at one point or another, whether it was to another person, to a mirror, or in prayer. I will not lie. I’ve been steeped in “The Chosen”, the hallow app, Lent and then Easter, over the last few months. I’ve also been steeped in family sicknesses, friends in deep emotional suffering, injuries and more. Throughout the situations that I have encountered in these last months, over all, I have counted myself incredibly fortunate. I have had friends to help my family graciously. I have had a husband who loves me. Through these trials, I heartily deepened my prayer life. I am no theologian or preacher. Theologically speaking, I am quite literally a nobody. And so, I make no claims that I do not believe are universal and real truths. In all of the grace that I have been given, in all of the goodness that I have seen, in all of the beauty that I have borne witness to, there are so many moments where I have felt, that I feel, that I do not deserve any of it. The reality is, that I don’t. I do not deserve any of it. And yet, the reality is also, that the small bit that I know of my faith tells me this; a man above all men, knew me, knew my faults, knew my weaknesses, knew the mistakes small and huge that I would make throughout my life entire, the one’s that I have made and have yet to make, and every single moment of me. He decided ANYWAY to send His only son to be nailed to a cross, to be scorned and spit on, to be paraded through streets and jeered at, all for the sake of…. me? It is madness, and it is truth. For me. For you. Even if it was just me. Even if it was just you. Even if it was to save the one sheep who went astray, he would have done it. Just for you. But does this not come with strings? Does this not come with a price? Does this not come with conditions? What may happen upon accepting this truth is something that is life altering. In an effort to shed light on the subject, I will commit minor Tolkien blasphemy. In the movie “The Hobbit, an Unexpected Journey” (which I quietly love), Bilbo asks Gandalf, “Can you promise that I will come back?” and Gandalf replies, “No, and if you do, you will not be the same”. There are no strings when it comes to Christ’s love for us, or for His rescuing, other than to declare that the one who died for you is your Lord and Savior. Once you admit to this love, there are other truths that you also must accept. By “must”, I do not mean that somehow this fearsome God simply forces one into agreeing with these high ideas of salvation. In this context, “must” is the the natural acceptance of the truths which this God has revealed. For, accepting this Savior, means that you also accept that somewhere along the line you needed saving. If you needed saving, you had to have fallen off the horse somewhere or another, which implies a standard of which you fell off from. He is our Savior, and He is our Lord. Otherwise, you would be a madman, yes? To say, you saved me, but there was nothing to save me from. Or, I will not follow you, so please do not save me. You either accept it, or you leave it. It simply would not be logical to have one without the other, the Savior without the Lord. It does not exist. You have freed me, and so I trust you. You are my Friend, my Father, my God, because you saw all of me, and You Loved me anyway, and You died for me anyway. And, actually, not simply “anyway”, but because of. The rescue is immediate. There is no coercion. There is no force. There is only abounding love, abounding mercy, and abounding goodness. I watched an episode of Chosen this week that spoke to this so perfectly. It is the episode titled “Spirit” which is Episode 5 in season 2. There is a conversation between the character if Jesus and Jesse, a man who has been left unable to walk due to a childhood incident. Jesus has never met him. He simply walks straight up to Him, while also knowing all of Him, at random. The conversation takes place in front of a small pool that Jesse has been sleeping near, for years, believing desperately that it would heal him. We often cling to things that we believe will heal us, or allow us to save ourselves. The character of Jesus said: “Do you want to be healed?”. and the response is simply, “Look, I’m having a really bad day.” The man who cannot walk, Jesse, goes on to explain all of those who have prevented him from being healed. Jesus responds, “That is not what I asked. I’m not asking about who is helping you, or who is not helping, or who is getting in your way. I am asking about you.” Jesse says “I’m trying” Jesus “For a long time. and you don’t want false hope again. I understand-but this pool means nothing to you, nothing and you know it. But you’re still here. Why?” Jesse “I don’t Know” Jesus “You don’t need this pool. You only need me. So, do you want to be healed?” Jesse *Nods yes* Jesus “So let’s go. Pick up your mat, and walk.” Jesse then realizes that he can stand, and so he does. They both start laughing, Jesus kisses his head, and walks away. Simon “Time for you to walk, like He said. Don’t forget your bed.” And Jesse picks up his mat, and he walks. Jesse “Why does this matter?” Simon “Because you’re not coming back here. That life is over. Everything changes now” The most honest truth in this show is that each disciple, and each person that Jesus saves, is flawed. Each has doubts. Each has previous attachments. Every single one of them royally screws up in some way before meeting Jesus, and even after being saved, they make mistakes. Yet, they are, all together, simply doing all that they can to follow Him. They do not cease striving to be better than they were before. They are simply a bit more awake. So does this then mean, that what is demanded of us after being saved by Him is perfection? Absolutely not. We are children. We are sheep but our shepherd loves us and is our ardent love. He will never give up on us. He will try to find us always. If we seek Him we will also always find Him. In that pursuit of His love we will continue to change and shift and love better, forgive better, be more at peace, allow Him in, allow healing to happen, and to follow, albeit sometimes exceptionally slowly, but to follow, and be found, over and over again. He already deemed you worthy of Love. He already deemed us worthy of saving. We just have to say yes.
February 2025
Happiness is Not Enough.
I have an abounding admiration for our founding father's, a great love for our Declaration of Independence, and I do agree with its author, Thomas Jefferson, on most accounts. It makes me slightly ill, however, each time I hear his words "the pursuit of happiness" not merely ill-used, but unabashedly abused. I highly doubt that when Jefferson penned those famous words: "... certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness", he ever thought society would forget the words that predeceased it: "they are endowed by their Creator," with a capital C. For two hundred and forty eight years Jefferson's words have been the very bedrock of our countries social culture. Unfortunately though, in the current state of this great nation, we prize happiness and liberty while annexing them from the Creator, and so we are now utterly lost. Rather than a melting pot with common values, the United States has become a slommacky moral soup. Modern day discernment often goes something like this: the phrase "...don't I deserve to be happy?", follows a string of reasons why a person should not do some sort of selfish thing. Happiness creates a blanket over the guilt that bubbles up after realizing a decision could have some negative consequence. This probably sounds familiar to you. You, and I, have likely done this once, twice, or many times... Happiness To "pursue happiness" means to orient oneself towards a given direction, and run to that chosen destination. I would like to suggest that in pursuing "happiness", in the emotional sense, we often do not acknowledge that we are truly running from, rather than running towards. To run towards happiness too often, usually implies running from one's responsibilities, duties, shortcomings, or suffering rather than learning from, growing from, or being more aware of them in the present. Yes, we all want to be happy. Yes, happiness has immense value in its proper place, and yet there are many scenarios in which one's momentary happiness causes another's pain. This eventually leads to one's own. If our orientation is, let's say, not quite north but northwest, what makes us happy may momentarily benefit us, but will potentially cause great damage, and often to those we hold most dear. Divorce, abortion, promiscuity, an inability to see our own flaws when addressed by friends or family members. We avoid correction or any concrete standard and direct our attention elsewhere all for fleeting happiness. For if we prize happiness, or in other words a short term emotional high, above all things, then we avoid the cross that we all must bear. The truth is that we are all human, all fallible, and suffering is an inescapable part of living, and growing. Therefore, Pursuing happiness does not always lead one to the Good OR afford one what they are seeking. What do we want? Let us pose the assertion that we crave and desire at the core of our human selves very similar things. I would beg to argue that what we deeply desire is much more than mere happiness. We crave connection, acceptance, understanding, and fulfillment. Perhaps, at times we crave adventure, but more than all of this we wish to feel fully alive, and known. In one word, what we need is to be to be loved. This sounds like a lot, but am I wrong? And what's more, is that to be loved is a dynamic experience. It is not simply a happy experience. It requires self sacrifice, accountability, honesty, and vulnerability. Now I must ask, do you feel known when someone who DOES NOT KNOW YOU enjoys your thirty second post on social media? Do you feel loved by one time partners, or do you crave the depth of one who sees you at your best and worst and shows you absolute love, forgiveness, mercy, and safety? Do you feel fulfilled by your 40-80 hour a week job that "allows you to travel", or do you quietly crave to be called Husband or Wife, Mommy or Daddy? I am going to guess that the answer to at least one of these questions is 'no.' No part of me is attempting to preach. I am simply pointing out that our current culture IS. LYING. TO. YOU. What society is directing you towards, and telling you what you should want, is simply WRONG. ...to be loved To be loved in full necessitates being fully seen, unclothed, unsheltered, and vulnerable. While this prospect often terrifies us all, as it did Adam and Eve after the fall, it is what we need. To be loved is to also be unconditionally committed to. If it was not, shows like Outlander and Bridgerton would never have become so popular. There is something a bit more in these romances than mere physicality. They are stories of loyalty, and friendship. What's more, is that they are all bound by one theme: Marriage. I will not claim that these shows have some profound moral implications, but I will attest to the fact that in this shared detail, and in the shows' popularity, it is evident that what is being portrayed, the dedication of one spouse, of vulnerability, of being loved flaws and all, is our greatest human desire. This is especially prevalent, given the fact that we are sold something quite opposite to this idea in our current culture. Selfishness, quiet peace, "manifesting", and money, are likely not quite doing it for you. Naturally then, if what we need is to be loved then what we pursue must be love, yes? Or is it that we pursue marriage? I would be able to simply say that love is what we should pursue, if the modern culture that I am currently attempting to derail did not hijack the word 'love' to mean a wide variety of things that it is not. Due to this unfortunate muddying of the definition I will attempt to clarify what I mean when I make the statement, we ought to pursue love above all things. I also do not recommend pursuing marriage in this new age version of the institution where it is conditional upon a person's happiness. What I recommend is this: become married to that which is love itself; that which we have decided to mentally annex from the Declaration of Independence, our Creator. To be more specific, God. The act of lifelong commitment where two become one flesh in marriage is a reflection of Christ's love for His church. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" John 3:16 KJV. 1 John 4:7-21 "7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love." ..